The Rehearsal Stopper

One of the great things about working in New York is the theater scene. Yes, it has diminished greatly over the years due to rising rents, but its presence is still very much felt. My favorite deliveries are to theaters because I insist I deliver them directly to the intended recipient so my flowers don't get lost or poached by another performer. Most theater managers let me. Because of this, I've been able to meet some famous people, but it's the up and comers that are the most fun deliveries.

Yesterday I had a delivery of garden roses and peonies, an arrangement that says "I am seriously thinking about you." It was for a performer named "Matt". So I made my way to the dressing rooms and asked to see a Matt N--- and was pointed down the hallway where I found a young man, in his 20s, applying makeup. I entered with my bouquet and his face lit up with joy. "Are those from Steven?" I said I didn't know and handed him the vase but not before three other members of the show's chorus flew into the tiny room firing off several questions in rapid succession. "Is that the guy from last weekend?" "You said he wouldn't call!" "Damn, girlfriend, the last time someone sent me flowers was when my career died!" You know, it always seems like you've heard that "gay sassy patter" a million times in movies and television, but I swear, when you hear it happening spontaneously around you it's still the most entertaining dialogue. At one point the stage manager announced over the loudspeaker for the chorus to please report to the stage, but no one heard it as they were pecking Matt for information on his mysterious new boyfriend.

Finally, the stage manager, a rather sweet looking woman in her thirties marched down to the dressing and screamed: "What the hell is going on?" Everyone froze in terror. In the the theater world, pissing off your stage manager is like if pissing off your waiter; you're not sure what's going to happen, but it's not going to go down well at all. The stage manager saw the flowers and her face beamed. "Matt! Are those from ... the guy?" He screamed "Yes!" and then everyone screamed. Five minutes later, as Matt was still answering questions, no one heard the director over the loudspeaker calling for everyone to please report to rehearsal on stage.


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